The Hardest Thing

Today's topic: What is the hardest thing I am dealing with right now.

Getting up in the morning?
Wanting to work?
Having the desire to shave my legs?

These are all difficult things for me right now.

The most difficult thing however? Losing weight. It literally is not possible. It's like finding a unicorn or a leprechaun. Or better yet, a leprechaun riding a unicorn, on a rainbow, carrying a basket of kittens wearing bowties. It is that impossible.

I cry about it a lot. And Arron is wonderful and loves me and rubs my back.

It is hard. If you have ever tried, it is hard. It requires a lot of dedication, a lot of working out, and more self control than you think you are capable of.

Also, for the record I am not the person that whines about how hard it is to loose weight and then eats at Mc Donalds and watches TV. I work out. An hour a day. Hard work out. P90X, and I am on a strict high protein, low calorie diet. And though my weight isn't dropping my body has changed quite a bit. I'm really trying to focus on that instead of the number on the scale. I KNOW my body is turning fat into muscle, and muscle weighs more than fat (I don't care though, I want the number to go down). It makes me mad.  I am happy my body has thinned out the past few months and  feel stronger and healthier, but I still feel fat because the number hasn't changed. :( sad.

Anyways, I am dedicated to this, and I continue with it even though I cry about it regularly. Arron is a great encouragement to me as he sits on the computer eating cookies and chips and calls out phrases to help me, or agrees with me when I yell at Tony Horton or Autumn Calebrese. Once in a while I can convince him to work out with me and that makes life better because he complains more than me while we work out.

Fat and scale numbers are the hardest thing about life for me these days.